Marriage is a sacred institution ordained by God. It’s also a strong bond between a husband and wife, built on love, respect, and commitment. It is a journey filled with both joy and challenges, and navigating its complexities can often feel overwhelming. But what if there was a divine blueprint for a godly marriage, a marital bliss? A secret, revealed in the Scriptures, that could transform your relationship into a shelter of love and harmony?
In this blog post, we’ll delve into the biblical principles that form the foundation of a happy and enduring godly marriage. We’ll explore the roles of both husband and wife, the blessings of obedience, and the consequences of disobedience. By understanding and applying these godly truths, we can reveal the divine potential for a fulfilling and lasting marriage.
A Godly Marriage: The Divine Institution
Marriage is more than just a symbol of love and commitment between a husband and a wife, but it’s a divine reflection of Christ’s love for the Church. Ephesians 5:22-33 outlines the roles of husband and wife, stressing mutual submission and respect. When we embrace these biblical principles, we create a harmonious union that honors God. Here are the three important purposes for marriage:
A Godly Marriage is a Divine Reflection
The apostle Paul beautifully illustrates the essence of marriage in Ephesians 5:22-33. Husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, sacrificing Himself for her. Wives are to submit to their husbands as the Church submits to Christ. This reciprocal love and submission turns into a godly marriage that creates a bond that mirrors the divine love between Christ and His people.
A Covenant Relationship
Marriage is also a covenant, a sacred promise made before God. It’s not merely a legal contract but a spiritual union. Malachi 2:14 emphasizes the importance of faithfulness in marriage, reminding us that God hates divorce.
A Partnership in Purpose
God calls married couples to be partners in fulfilling His purposes on earth. Genesis 2:18 states, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Together, husband and wife are to complement each other’s strengths, building a godly home and raising godly children.
The Role of the Wife: Submission and Respect
The biblical model for a wife is one of submission and respect. This, however, is often misunderstood. Submission does not equate to inferiority; it’s a selfless act of honoring your husband. It’s a demonstration of your trust in God’s design for marriage.
Submission as Strength
Submission is a choice to trust God’s structure for marriage. It’s about placing your husband’s needs and desires ahead of your own, just as Christ humbled Himself for the Church (Philippians 2:5-8).
The Beauty of Submission
Contrary to popular belief, submission doesn’t diminish a woman’s worth. In fact, it enhances her beauty. 1 Peter 3:5 says, “For the devout women of the past who placed their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful by submitting to their husbands.” A woman who submits to her husband is adorned with a spiritual beauty that is far more attractive than any outward appearance. But not only that, a respectful wife is a crown to her husband (Proverbs 12:4). When a wife honors her husband, she enhances his leadership and creates a harmonious atmosphere.
Respect as a Foundation of a Godly Marriage
A man’s interpretation of love is respect. When a wife honors her husband, she affirms his leadership and creates a secure environment for him. Proverbs 31:11 describes a virtuous woman as being “far above rubies.” Her respect for her husband is a priceless jewel.
The Consequences of a Disobedient Wife
The Bible provides examples of the consequences of a wife’s disobedience. These stories serve as warning and highlight the importance of honoring God’s structure for marriage.
Vashti’s Demise
In the book of Esther, the story of Queen Vashti provides a plain warning. Her refusal to submit to her husband, King Xerxes, led to her dethronement and replacement (Esther 1:10-21). While this story is from the Old Testament, the principle remains the same, disobedience can have severe consequences for a marriage.
Michal’s Disregard
2 Samuel 6:20-23 recounts how Michal, King David’s wife, mocked and despised her husband’s joyful worship. Her actions resulted in barrenness, a severe consequence for her disobedience.
The Power of Submission
In contrast, we learn from the book of Esther about how her submissive spirit enabled her to save her people from destruction. Her courage and wisdom, but most importantly her respectful approach to her husband is an example of the impact a godly wife can have on her husband and her community.
The Role of the Husband: Love and Leadership
A husband’s role is equally crucial. He is called to love his wife unconditionally, mirroring Christ’s love for the Church. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
Unconditional Love
Ephesians 5:25 commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. This love is sacrificial, patient, kind, and forgiving (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). It is the foundation of a healthy marriage. It requires a husband to put the wife’s needs before his own and providing for her emotional and physical well-being. A husband who loves his wife unconditionally creates a safe and nurturing environment for her.
Gentle Leadership
A husband’s leadership should be gentle, considerate, and supportive. It is not about dominance but about serving his wife. A godly husband leads with humility, seeking his wife’s input and valuing her opinions. Colossians 3:19 encourages husbands to love their wives, not being bitter toward them.
Provider and Protector
Traditionally, the husband has been the primary provider and protector of the family. While roles may evolve, the husband’s responsibility to care for his family remains. It involves providing direction and protection.
Honor and Cherish
Husbands are called to honor and cherish their wives as weaker vessels. 1 Peter 3:7 emphasizes the importance of treating wives with understanding and respect, recognizing their equal status as heirs of the grace of life.
The Consequences of a Harsh Husband
Just as there are consequences for a disobedient wife, a husband’s behaviour also impacts the marriage. The Bible warns husbands about the dangers of harshness, neglect and abusive treatment of wives.
Nabal’s Foolishness
1 Samuel 25 recounts the story of Nabal’s arrogance and cruelty towards David and his men which nearly brought destruction upon his household. His wife, Abigail, through her wisdom, submission and respect had to intervene to save the situation. A husband who is harsh and insensitive risks damaging the trust and intimacy in his marriage.
The Power of Kindness
In contrast, Abraham’s love and respect for Sarah, even in challenging circumstances, contributed to their strong and enduring marriage. Genesis 21:12 highlights Abraham’s obedience to God’s command to listen to Sarah, demonstrating the power of a husband’s kindness. A gentle and considerate husband creates a safe and loving environment for his wife, which promotes trust and intimacy.
Building a Godly Marriage: Practical Steps
While biblical principles provide the foundation, building a strong marriage requires intentional effort from both parties. Both husband and wife must actively pursue God’s design for their relationship. Here are some practical steps:
Prioritize Spiritual Growth
A shared faith strengthens the foundation of a marriage as the scripture says “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33 NIV). Regular Bible study, prayer, and church attendance nourish the soul and deepen your connection with God.
Open and Honest Dialogue
Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. In marriage, it’s even more crucial. Ephesians 4:15 encourages us to speak the truth in love. Open and honest communication is essential for resolving conflicts and building intimacy. Therefore it’s important to create a safe space for open and honest communication. Share your thoughts, feelings, and needs without fear of judgment.
Active Listening
Truly listen to your spouse’s perspective. Put away distractions and give them your full attention without being defensive. As the scripture reminds us in James 1:19 “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Forgiveness and Grace
Marriage is imperfect. As a result, extending forgiveness and grace to each other is crucial for healing and building trust. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32 NIV). Remember forgiveness is not spontaneous but it is a choice to release resentment and bitterness.
Shared Goals and Dreams
Having common goals and dreams can unite a couple and provide a sense of purpose. “Can two walk together unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3 NKJV)
Spend Quality Time Together
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV). Therefore scheduling regular date nights and shared activities is important to strengthen your bond.
Serve Each Other
Acts of service demonstrate love and create a supportive environment. “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:45 NIV)
Physical Intimacy
Physical intimacy is an important aspect of marriage. “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” (1 Corinthians 7:3 NIV). It strengthens the emotional bond between husband and wife. However, it should always be rooted in love, respect, and mutual desire.
Overcoming Challenges Together
Marriage is not without its challenges. Disagreements, financial stress, and raising children can put a strain on even the strongest relationships.
Seek God’s Wisdom
When facing challenges, turn to God for wisdom and guidance. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us to bring our requests to God in prayer and thanksgiving.
Seek Professional Help
If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to seek professional counseling. A qualified counselor can provide tools and strategies to help you overcome challenges. “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14 ESV)
The Enduring Joy of a Godly Marriage
A godly marriage is a beautiful and rewarding journey. It’s a partnership where two people, committed to loving and honoring each other, create a lasting legacy. By embracing the biblical principles of love, respect, and submission, you can create a marriage that not only honors God but also brings immense joy and fulfillment to both you and your spouse.
Remember, every marriage is unique, but the foundation for a strong and lasting union is always the same: God’s Word. As you strive to build a godly marriage, seek His wisdom, guidance, and grace.
